Since my life was completely new, my previous relationships weren’t working out. I was growing at a rapid rate spiritually and it was pulling me away from the people I loved still trapped in addiction. But I couldn’t stay there.
It was uncomfortable to leave the life I had but I wanted so much more. And then I met Wes, who swept me off my feet and loved Jesus as much as I did and understood the miracles that He performs. He lived the life I lived, and it was easy. Remember the girl from earlier that broke up with her boyfriend and invited my friend to Dee Dees? That’s the reason I even went to [B]ible study and found God years ago. That boy was Wes, who I met later in recovery and is now my husband.
Now that I was sober, I could work on that family I always dreamed of. On December 16, 2015, I wrote a prayer for a baby boy and put it up in my prayer closet. The next year on that very same day December 16, 2016, I found out I was pregnant. It’s a boy! We were so excited for this journey. Unfortunately, at 26 weeks we found out the baby stopped growing. The doctors told us he had a genetic disorder, but we needed to wait for the results to see how bad it was. The next few days found us in the hospital because I had severe pre-eclampsia.
The doctors said the baby was too small and would not live due to his size. Typically, early preeclampsia patients have their babies within [two] weeks. We hit our knees and prayed our guts out as we were paralyzed with fear. We knew [two] things: our baby wasn’t going to live, but if he did, he had a genetic disorder. There was no good news and I was stuck petrified in the hospital with only time to think about the bad news.
But thankfully, in AA’s 12 step program I had learned acceptance and trust in what God wanted to do. I needed him to hold me together. I wrote all over the hospital walls with chalk markers. Scriptures covered my room. The Holy Spirit was there through every blood pressure check, every needle poked in me, and every negative thought that passed through my mind. We just needed to keep the baby in long enough for him to be big enough to survive.
[Six] weeks later, still no baby. One morning, just like usual, my room filled with Doctors and residents and interns like a scene from “Grey’s Anatomy” (which we watched religiously in the hospital and still do). At that moment the genetic counselor calls, I anxiously pick up the phone and the room full of doctors gets silent. I put her on speaker to read my results to all the doctors so they are prepared for whatever genetic issue my son will have.
‘NO GENETIC DISORDER.’ I lasted another week which meant I was able to get a second dose of emergency steroid to grow my baby’s lungs. Christian James Farris (CJ) was born on July 3, 2017, at 1 pound 15 ounces.
He stayed in the NICU for over [three] months to grow.
Wes and I got married in the hospital chapel with our closest friends and family. Little CJ got to come out of the NICU to be the tiniest ring bearer in history.
His amazing nurses brought him in a little wagon with all his tubes and machines in his preemie tux. It was the perfect day. He is now 18 months old with no preemie problems whatsoever. He is a walking miracle.
My dreams have come true and I couldn’t ask for anything more.
**This story was written by Whitney Belaire and originally appeared on Love What Matters. Used with permission.
