Not long ago I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep. I had to get up early for work in the morning, and since I already wasn’t feeling the upcoming workday, I was on edge and downcast. Suddenly my mind started spinning, as it tends to do when I lay down, and I contemplated the previous few minutes.
I had hugged my husband goodnight before I retired for bed, and he had seemed more quiet than usual.
Was he mad at me or something?!
And it wasn’t just him, I realized as my thoughts continued to spiral. My children had barely given me even a perfunctory hug before running off to their room. I told them I had to work, but they didn’t seem phased one way or the other. It was like I missed them more than they did me, and only one out of three had greeted me when I came home that night.
They don’t even care about me.
I used to stay home more, while my husband worked more. Now our roles had reversed. It seemed to me that since I had started working more they didn’t care about me as much.
Their Dad is their favorite now.
I thought about the people I loved, the people I worked to provide for, and I wondered if they even thought about me when I wasn’t around.
I could just leave right now, and they probably wouldn’t even bat an eye.
I don’t matter. I’m just a paycheck, a cell phone to play with, or a maid when required.
Even as these asinine thoughts ran rampant in my mind I knew they were ridiculous.
This is crazy business!