“A Man Sat Next to My Daughter on the Bus. I Want Her to Know ‘STOP’ Means STOP & ‘NO’ Means NO”: Mom Pleads People to Respect Childrens’ Boundaries

“A man sat next to my daughter on the bus.

The bus wasn’t particularly busy, yet he chose the seat next to her.
She stood up and moved over to me.
She didn’t make a big deal about it, she just clearly didn’t feel comfortable sitting with him.

‘Aw, you don’t need to be scared. Give me a high five!’

She didn’t want to.
She turned into me and refused to acknowledge him.
I smiled at him and then my children and I went back to our conversation.

‘Are you looking forward to Christmas?’ he asked my daughter.

We exchanged the usual pleasantries that people share at this time of year. A brief summary of my family’s plans and enjoyment of the season. Listening in turn as he shared his own.
I’m not great socially, but I try to be polite and I hate to think anyone is lonely. I was happy enough to have a conversation in that moment.

‘Cat got your tongue?’ he tried again, leaning in close to my lovely girl.

I felt her press into me. Trying to merge into my body.
Everything about her body language was screaming STOP…but he wasn’t listening.

Why do people do this?

‘She just doesn’t want to talk,’ I explained firmly.
‘She shy?’ He asked
‘Not particularly. She just doesn’t feel like talking,’ I reiterated.

I pointedly began discussing our plans for the evening with my children. Purposely tuning him out.

this …

‘You should teach her some manners. She should at least be polite!’ he admonished me.

I looked at him.
I looked at him and I saw all the times people had ignored my discomfort.
From grandparents demanding hugs. Aunties chasing me to ‘pinch a kiss.’ Being tickled until I couldn’t breath and it was a long way from fun.

Family friends demanding I speak to them. Strangers demanding I be civil…all because it suited THEM.