When You Want to Punch Satan in the Face SO Hard


I’ve never physically hurt anyone, at least on purpose. There was that time last week when I accidentally kicked a soccer ball full force into a 10-year-old boy’s face, but that was an accident. Also, he was schooling me in a pickup game, and while I felt awful about hurting him, I also felt slightly vindicated, since I was, in fact, being schooled in soccer by a 10-year-old. But mainly it was an accident. Ish.

Anyway, the point is this: I’m a relatively peaceful person. I like for everyone around me to be happy and content, and I work hard to infuse positivity into every situation.


I have always really wanted to punch someone in the face. Hard. You know, like the kind of sucker punch you see in the movies, the one that comes the moment the good guy has finally had enough of the bully. I want to be the Adam Sandler to a real-life Bob Barker, because when Adam delivered a blow to Bob Barker’s face in Happy Gilmore, it was one of the best moments of my life (never mind that Barker ultimately wins the fight, which is highly unlikely in real life). And who hasn’t wanted to punch Bob Barker at some point or another, amiright?

Just me?

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So yes, I have this unholy urge within me, and while I probably won’t ever act on it, I can imagine it would feel so good. What a release! It’s like I almost want someone to come at me and give me a reason to pull my arm back and…BAM!

I understand what you’re thinking: she’s not right. And you’d be correct, my friend. I’m so not right. But maybe you can relate to what I’m saying just a little bit, too. It’s not that I particularly want to hurt somebody. Not at all, actually. It’s more that I — maybe I should say we — all have a desire to deliver a direct blow to the bad guy for justice’s sake. We want to say enough is enough, and we want to take the enemy out. We want to feel the satisfaction of knowing we stand victorious in the face of opposition.

The problem, at least for me, is that we can’t punch Satan in the face.

But man oh man, do I want to punch him in the face so hard.

Do you realize we face a very real enemy every single moment of every single day? He’s out to steal, kill, and destroy everything good in our lives, and unlike Bob Barker, he doesn’t provide us with a skin-and-bones physical body to pummel. There’s no punching the prince of darkness in the face, because he’s the prince of a spiritual realm, not a physical one.

We can’t physically see him, but his fingerprints are everywhere, aren’t they?

Marriages are falling apart left and right. Addiction runs rampant. Hearts are broken by the consequences of sin and death. Friends turn on friends, and brother on brother. True integrity can feel like a thing of the past. Truth isn’t truth anymore, and God forbid anyone stand for Biblical morality. A culture of sin gives way to flesh, and so much is broken.

Fingerprints. Everywhere.

I found myself feeling angry at Satan today. I wanted to beat the Bob Barker snot out of him, and then I grew even angrier because I can’t deliver him a swift uppercut to the jaw. (Also, aren’t you impressed that I know the term “swift uppercut?” Be proud of me.) I’m tired of seeing those I love hurt deeply. I’m tired of hearing another story about another ministry leader who has fallen so deep into sin that he can’t see straight, who appears to have lost his ever-loving mind. I’m tired of people not being who they say they are, and I’m tired of the brokenness.

I’m tired.

Then I was gently reminded of this simple truth: he’s going to get what’s coming to him. God whispered quietly to my heart: justice is mine.

One day there’s going to be a showdown, and it will be the most epic in all of human history. Jesus will face off against Satan, and it won’t just be an uppercut He’ll be delivering. It will be utter destruction, and the enemy will be rendered completely powerless — forever.


In the meantime, we can deliver blows to the enemy here and now by arming ourselves spiritually for his attacks. We can put on the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of the faith, and the helmet of salvation. We can pick up the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, and we can fight with all our might against the one who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy our very souls.

He whispers lies and BAM — hit him hard with truth. He tempts us to give in to our flesh and BAM — go full-fledge Adam Sandler on him and flee from immorality. He tries to break our faith in who God is and BAM — tell him to go to hell, where he belongs, and speak the name of Jesus out loud in defiance.

The truth is, we can take some jabs, but God will one day deliver a TKO, and in that moment, all will be made right. Some days we find ourselves living for that moment — today is one of those days for me.

I’m glad I got this out, though. Maybe you needed the reminder, too. I do feel better, and now I feel the overwhelming desire to watch Happy Gilmore, because #BobBarker. There’s something about that smug looks he gets on his face when people spin the wheel and accidentally pass the $1 threshold that makes me hostile.

Pray for me, y’all; I’m definitely not right. And, as always, feel free to laugh!


Buy Jordan’s book #FeelFreetoLaugh on Amazon!

Jordan Baker Watts
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Jordan Baker Watts is a wife, mother, worship leader, speaker, writer, and former Miss America. Ok, that last one's not true, but one time she watched it on TV. Jordan's heart is for sharing Jesus with those around her, whether through song, speaking, or the written word. She shares from a real, raw place and loves to encourage those around her to come honestly and comfortably before the Lord just as they are, not as they "should" be. She uses the medium of humor to engage her audience, and she loves to laugh! Her story is one of freedom from the lies of the enemy, and of triumph over bondage, all solely by the grace of a merciful and kind God. When she grows up she wants to run a marathon (but only if there are snack breaks along the way). Follow Jordan's blog at www.feelfreetolaugh.com. Buy her book #FeelFreetoLaugh on Amazon.