It’s not because we don’t pray or read our Bibles.
In 2013, a Lifeway Research study found that nearly 50 [percent] of evangelicals believe that prayer and Bible study alone can conquer serious mental illness. Unfortunately, this mistaken belief prevents people from seeking the help they need.
I know this firsthand. No matter how many times I recited verses, asked for healing, and did all the other things I was supposed to do, I still had an illness. I wasn’t miraculously healed.
Of course, our God is powerful and able to heal in an instant. And sometimes, mild depression naturally goes into remission, like cancer, which may reinforce the dangerous idea that seeking medical help signifies lack of faith. Christians need to know prayer and reading hope-filled verses are important parts of a holistic self-care plan.
But they aren’t enough. It wasn’t until I started taking medication and seeing a licensed therapist (pastors don’t receive adequate training to counsel people with depression or suicidal thoughts) weekly that the darkness lifted and my chest stopped aching.
And I’m just as grateful God chooses to work through little pills and skilled professionals as if he waved a magic wand and healed me instantly. He is still the ultimate source of healing and still glorified by working through people.
People serving God wholeheartedly struggle, too.
The lie that those walking closely with God don’t ever have suicidal thoughts or other mental health issues is dangerous because it wrongly casts these issues as sin.
If we believe depression and dark thoughts are sinful, we’re more likely to feel ashamed and expect God to deal sternly with us. But the truth is he’s good and gracious, not waiting to punish us for our struggles.
Depression and suicidal thoughts don’t care about how spiritual we are. I’m sure plenty of devout believers and faithful leaders wish it did. I do.
I was in ministry — serving, preaching, leading worship, going on mission trips, leading Bible studies — but still wanting to die. Still hurting. Still hopeless.
I mentioned Steve earlier. He was a youth pastor when he tried to die. He knew what the Bible said and how to pray. He was well aware of all the “right” answers and appropriate spiritual statements. They just left him more ashamed because the stigma of being a pastor with these issues was too great.
Depression and suicide are on the rise nationwide. We can’t assume that those we love and look up to aren’t fighting the darkness.
We can’t “choose joy” or “stop thinking about it.”
Sometimes Christians tell us to “choose joy” or focus on somebody other than ourselves. There is some truth to this: caring for others and learning to cultivate joy are important parts of a healthy life.
But when death seems like the only way out of an internal torture chamber, those things don’t work. What’s worse, they become a way to mask pain. That’s how I could be involved in several ministries and wear a big smile while I wished for death.
Saying things like, “I’m so sorry you’re hurting,” and spending time with people struggling is much more effective than telling them to choose joy. It allows them to be honest, which might wind up saving a life.
Not sure what to say to someone struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts? Or are you dealing with depression and wish someone knew how to help? Click here for a free, 2-page guide to talking to struggling loved ones.
Suicidal thoughts are intrusive.
They show up, whether we want them or not, like a horror movie playing constantly in our heads. We watch our demise over and over. Sometimes, it’s terrifying. Other times, it seems like sweet relief.
Several years ago, I was part of an incredible church in Atlanta. I co-directed a non-profit and served in the youth ministry; students looked up to me and came to me for wisdom. Nobody knew how much I struggled. They never knew about the horror movie in my mind.
