We live in a culture that glorifies people-pleasing and doing the ‘socially acceptable’ thing. So when grandmas, grandpas, aunts and uncles ask for a big hug or a smooch on the lips, a child who was taught to be polite can have a tough time saying “no.”
The problem is, if we don’t offer them the right to say “no” now, how will they ever learn it in the future when the situation is perhaps more threatening and they are in the hands of a child molester?
Mum on the Run, Laura Mazza, understands this all too well, and thus has decided to allow her children the privilege of saying “no” (within reason, of course), as learning this now has far-reaching effects into adulthood.
When she allowed her son to decide whether or not he wanted to give a relative at a family get-together a goodbye hug, she was left with an awkward stare by the relative — but to Laura, a little awkwardness was worth teaching her son the right lesson: Your body is yours. And you have the right to say NO to any kind of physical touch.
Read her viral Facebook post below:
“Recently relatives came to visit and asked for a goodbye hug, and my son promptly said ‘no.’ This person said ‘ohhh come on!! Just one big hug,’ and I was looked at by the relative like I should encourage him by saying ‘go on give her a hug!’
But instead, I said, ‘that’s okay you don’t have to’…And what may have been considered as slightly awkward or rude on my part, it’s something I’m proud as a parent to say or do.
My responsibility first and foremost is to my children. As their mother, it’s my job to stand up for them when they can’t and teach them to learn to stand up for themselves.
I am their safe place, one that they trust and I won’t abuse that by insisting that they do something that makes them feel uncomfortable to be polite.
My son gets too much sometimes and wants to hug other kids, or his sister, a little too much. I can’t tell him ‘You can’t hug her/him if they don’t want to be hugged, but if uncle Albert demands a hug, you should give him one.’
Because I’m teaching my kids that no means no and that’s it’s okay to say ‘no.’
It means ‘no’ when I say ‘you can’t have an extra cookie.’
It means ‘no’ when your sister doesn’t want to wrestle.