An elderly man put his creamer in his coffee. Not knowing that I was standing behind him waiting for my turn, he took his time, carefully shaking just enough sweetener into his cup, stirring slowly and intentionally.
As his back was still turned from me, I grew irritated and impatient. And then I ROLLED MY EYES AT HIM. I literally rolled my eyes at him in disgust. At a little old man! That’s as horrible as it gets. Then, he turned around, and I flashed him a smile, as if I wasn’t irritated at all. He gave me a nod and shuffled off.
Then, I saw the cashier looking our way. She had seen the whole thing. She had witnessed my selfish eye roll, my impatient foot tapping, and then my half-hearted, somewhat fake smile.
My stomach dropped and my heart sank. This is hard to say sometimes I really stink at being nice. Sometimes I’m really selfish and impatient.
I felt disgusting, fake, and mean. I wanted to rewind and relive it, to truly be kind instead of be kind only when I thought someone was watching.
Here’s why it matters: that ordinary morning at the coffee shop, I realized: