In a world obsessed with perfection, we just don’t expect it of one another, and I consider that one of the greatest blessings of my life. I’m lucky, yes, but I choose this life every day. I choose it and he chooses it and by doing so, I hope we can show these kids of ours that perfection in marriage isn’t real. Perfection in any relationship is just an illusion. It’s not always roses and champagne. It’s hard work; it is disagreement sometimes; it’s choice; it’s forgiveness; it’s acceptance. I hope they know it’s worth it and I hope they know it is because we’ve shown them.
As for me, it’s so much of who I am and while I know myself outside of my identity as a wife and mother, I choose to identify, primarily, as them. I am so many other things, but for me, I choose those roles first and he chooses the roles of husband and father first and for us, it’s made all the difference. It’s a choice every, single day.
Thanks for Mothering the Divide with me as I choose this life. I stand here in the middle of bedtime and snotty noses and bathrooms that need cleaned. I stand here with my husband, with deliberate choice, and while it’s not easy every day, I think the secret might just be to stay quiet on the days it seems harder.