"He took up a lot of space. Moving around us. Weaving in and out of the aisles. Some ladies were annoyed. An old man behind us snickered and under his breath said, ‘hurry up.’"
I felt like I had a teen mom logo stamped on my forehead. I do remember coming home from school one day and an adoption counselor was there to discuss adoption. My mom had arranged it because everyone believed that was the best option for me.
This is how it is with big kids: the older our children get, the more the things they need comforting from are not things we can do much about. When they don't have friends, we can't set up playdates for them. When they don't understand their homework, we usually don't understand it enough to help them, either. When someone breaks their heart, we can't (and shouldn't) go try to talk them into loving our baby again.
"Boys need their moms—I am convinced of it. Even teenaged boys, boys who are nearly men... There is still that fear that a boy necessarily ought to be closer to his father than his mother."
"I used to know who I was, who you were, who we were. But right now I don’t. Right now I am looking for my edges and I can sometimes only find them when I am pulling on you. When I push everything I used to know to its edge. Then I feel like I exist and for a minute I can breathe."
