What I learned in Matt’s passing was that love was the gift. I had him, my only son, the love of my life. Parenting Matt was the privilege of my lifetime that I would not change even knowing the outcome. And, loving him was the most natural thing for me to do as a mother.
When you are up against the power of addiction, love is not what’s at issue. I knew Matt loved me and I assumed that I could “love him through it.” But unfortunately, love is not the antidote to addiction.
Addiction is a disease that is addressed differently than others. With few reliable resources, a constant shame stigma, and not much but Google to depend on, it becomes a race to survive, for both you and your child. When I felt like I had nowhere to turn, I turned to love. I knew it well and it came easy.
But no matter how much love I gave, it was never the catalyst for recovery. The simple truth is that even those with the most supportive, loving environments succumb to their addiction. Matt had so much love surrounding him, but his addiction still took his life. No matter how much I loved him, his addiction endured. As a mother, that was the hardest and most sobering lesson to learn.
My story is unfortunately not unique – heroin and opioid abuse is running rampant. If I could go back 10 years ago when Matt first asked for help, I’d offer the following advice to myself: love Matt as much as you can, but know that it can’t save him.
Over 270 people die a day of heroin overdoses. Those parents loved their children too. If love could conquer addiction, this epidemic would be extinguished.
I know that every second Matt lived, he knew he was loved. Every second.
Editor’s note: Along with her family, Megan Megale is launching American Boy, an organization focused on fighting the opioid epidemic and educating families about the disease of addiction.
Megan’s daughter, Shea Megale, recounts her time with her brother and his struggle with addiction in “American Boy: The Opioid Crisis and The Sister Left Behind.” Book sales will help fund treatment scholarships granted by American Boy.
