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We Don’t Talk About Her Future

We don’t talk about her future.

Not much anyways.

It’s kinda odd really, when I put it in writing.

There is this unspoken thing we do. Where I know we know. Like– I clearly know. My husband knows. Anyone who has read up on my child’s diagnosis and the long term prognosis—they know.

There is the outcome we hope for. The one we pray for.

And then there is the possible one we are unmistakably aware of—but we don’t talk about it— not out loud anyways.

Until we did.

The other day, in a rare moment where no children were present and there was time to chat about more than just the schedules, and the bills, and the dinner plans for tonight—my husband began to talk about the future. He began to talk about what we want our future to look like as our kids grow up. And then he began to talk about the reality that our future and her future will be closely intertwined—the reality that we may never grow to be empty nesters.

“Hopefully she can continue to do well and she’ll gain some independence to be able to do her own thing. BUT, but if she doesn’t, she’ll just live with us—that will be okay.”

The words nonchalantly slipped from his lips, but they hit me like a ton of bricks.

I’ve never heard him say that. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever said it out loud.
Because as parents to a child who is medically fragile, one with special medical needs, one who’s diagnosis presents a whole lot of unknown—we don’t talk about her future.
We don’t really talk about what sports she’ll play—or what she wants to “be” when she grows up.

We don’t talk about rather or not she’ll ever get to attend a sleepover—or go to play dates unattended by mom.

Sarah Lango
Sarah Lango
Sarah Lango is a momma of 3, wife, writer, speaker, Jesus follower, and coffee lover from small town Missouri. She is the founder of Gracefilled Growth, where she writes about her faith, marriage, motherhood journey, and her new experience of special needs parenting. Her passion is to inspire others to live authentic lives, learning together, and embracing the grace that God so lovingly offers. You can read more of Sarah’s writing at www.gracefilledgrowth.com.

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