Wife of Pastor Who Committed Suicide Shares Sons’ Heartbreaking Questions: “Why Didn’t He Say Goodbye?”

The wife of Chino, California pastor Andrew Stoecklein is again speaking out about the devastating tragedy that has wrecked her family after her husband committed suicide late last month.

After writing a heartbreaking and poignant letter to her sweet Andrew last week, Kayla Stoecklein has taken to Instagram to share what it was like to share the news with her three boys.

While Andrew’s dad was battling leukemia we clinged to the phrase “God’s Got This.” • It was Andrew’s idea to create a blog so that people could follow along the journey. Andrew was incredibly passionate about the phrase “God’s Got This.” • We have sent hundreds of thousands of wristbands all over the world with those precious words embedded on it. • Our family is still holding tight to that phrase even now. We are choosing to believe that “God’s Got This.” We don’t understand it, we hate it, it makes us angry, we can’t even breathe, but we are trusting God. • This morning I wrote a post to my husband, if he was here these are the words I would say to him. You can read the post on godsgotthis.org . • Andrew, we will keep “God’s Got This” alive in your name. #godsgotthis

A post shared by Kayla Stoecklein (@kaylasteck) on Aug 28, 2018 at 1:43pm PDT

“Telling the boys yesterday was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do,” wrote Kayla. “It crushed me. Our oldest son Smith had the most difficult time processing everything. He is such a smart boy and is incredibly heartbroken.”

She went on to explain that the questions the boys asked left her crushed and in shock:

“The types of questions he asked really shocked me.

‘Are you and daddy still married?’

‘Did the doctors know daddy was going to die?’

‘Why didn’t he say goodbye?’

‘What is my life going to be like without daddy?'”

Not only did Kayla not have the answers, but she was also pained that her son would even have to ask these types of questions at such a young age.