I don’t really want kids. I’ve never really been into the idea of having kids. (My mother disagrees with me.)
But if I were to have a child…particularly a daughter…
(Jesus take the wheel)
I would teach her not to wait.
For anything or anyone.
To my daughter, I would tell her not to wait around for a boy to come sweeping in and save her. I would make it a point to teach her that the world has tried to convince women that they need men to feel complete and that that is a big, fat, ugly lie.
To my daughter, you are too full of depth and honesty to “play dumb” for some insecure boy.
I would not let her grow up with the “sleeping beauty” mentality, thinking and expecting some guy to waltz up the ivory tower to wake her up.
I would tell her she is already awake and that she is full of fire that would melt that ivory tower to the ground.
And then I would tell her that when she sorts through the boys that have tried to knock on her door and been denied, that the right one will come. When he does that she needs to thoroughly understand emotional purity. She needs to know that purity comes in many forms and that emotional purity is equally as important as physical purity.
And then she would ask, “Mom, what is emotional purity?”
I would say, “Baby, emotional purity means that you know who you are and what your heart wants. While knowing what your heart wants, knowing that you are in control of your feelings, your feelings don’t own you. You own them.”
I would tell her that she is not allowed to hide her true self for other people’s comfort.
She is a roundhouse kick to the face of conformity and that that is the best thing about her.
I would tell her if there is an adventure in her heart that she should do everything in her power to make it happen. I will tell her to rally her resources, seek advice from mentors and close friends, and then to go fight for what she wants.
To my daughter, I would tell her the world has been waiting for her since the beginning of time.
I would tell her that she is 1,000 bouquets of roses and a million adventure novels wrapped up into one.
I would sit her in front of the bathroom mirror, like my mother did for me, and make her repeat over and over the things that she loves about herself, even if she didn’t necessarily believe them at the time. She needs to hear that vocally and I’m going to make sure she does.
After our talk, I would hug her tight and say, “The world is yours. Go get it. I’ll be right behind you the whole time.”
