I am sad. I live in Southeast Asia, and there’s a “massage parlor” a few blocks down the street. In fact, there are several.
“$2.50” is what the sign reads. And then there are the KTVs (“karaoke bars”) with rows of plastic chairs holding property: young women in skimpy cocktail dresses waiting for clients. Several of them within a mile of my house. One’s called Dubai, one’s called Las Vegas, and one’s simply called J. I know the names because they’re on the main streets. They’re not hidden.
I see it everywhere: men objectifying women.
Do you remember about a year ago when a list of users on the affair-facilitating website Ashley Madison got leaked? And right about the same time one of the famous Duggar kids was found to be involved in a shocking sex abuse scandal. Lately, it’s been the sexual impropriety of Anthony Weiner, and his wife publicly announcing that she was leaving him after he was once again caught sexting. Sadly, there will surely be something else soon.
My worlds collide.
I grew up under the same teachings as Josh Duggar. Same home school group. Same emphasis on modesty and purity.
But my parents weren’t “all in.” I was much more into it than they were, actually. As a young teenager, I was upset because my dad wouldn’t sell his dental practice so we could move into the country to be more holy. I stopped listening to “rock music” and even left a Christian concert once out of my strong convictions.
My parents stayed.
My parents still took us to the (agh!) public pool, but when I decided that was too “dangerous” for me, I recused myself.
So, yes, I did grow up under the same teachings. Sort of. But because we had friends outside of the movement, and because my parents were very loving and “too compromising,” I was spared much of the devastation.
But many people weren’t spared.
You see, there are lies modesty culture teaches men.
Also, I have daughters. And sons. I have a bunch of younger sisters. And brothers. I have a wife. That makes this all very, very personal.
Lie 1: Women Are Scary
Yes, you should “treat them like sisters,” but really, you should be terrified of them.
That’s the big lie: Keep them at a distance, lest you be snared.
The result? Men who are scared to interact with half of the human population. Men who must look at the dirt when a woman walks by instead of looking her in the eye. That cannot be right.
