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‘We Have No Visible Finish Line’—The Case for Why Moms Are so Burnt Out

This is why moms are always so quick to snap. This is why we are so sensitive. Because we are desensitized. We are numb. We are so beyond burnt out.

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Jill Duggar to Dad Jim Bob: “You Treat Me Worse Than My Pedophile Brother”

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Is She Your First?

We all have our own personal stories. When a question from a stranger, seemingly harmless, challenges our story, we are forced to question how much we actually want to reveal. We are forced to instantly decide what’s appropriate to share, and what’s not.

In my case, now that my little baby is truly a toddler, she doesn’t just attract attention when we leave the house.  She commands it.  Pointing, laughing, yelling, and babbling in the language that she has created that sounds really similar to German.


When we are out at the grocery store, park, or another errand and she has managed to indirectly introduce us to a stranger, the first typical question is “How old is she?” After answering, the next question is usually “Oh, and is she your first?”

This question always makes me pause. This well-meaning stranger, often a parent and just looking to swap stories, doesn’t know what they are asking. How could they? And yet, I still pause. No, I think, but I can’t tell you that. I can’t wreck your day.

I want to say: “You see, kind stranger, I’ve been hurt. This charming toddler, she has an older sister. One that would likely have been equally as charming, and someone that she will never get to meet. Someone that I was blessed to know for minutes, and somehow those minutes have shaped the rest of my life. This little girl has a sister who is not here. They will never get to run and play, tell secrets late into the night in the room they share, play dress-up with all of my old clothes, fight over toys that they both don’t even like that much… because her sister couldn’t stay. The doctors said that she wasn’t compatible with life; I say she was too beautiful for Earth. And so, I’m not sure how to answer your question. If I say yes, she is my first…am I dishonoring Darla? If I say no, is that fair to Gracie? Is that fair to you? Is that fair to me?   

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Kristine Western
Kristine Western
I live with my husband, Jon, outside of Boston. We are currently raising two daughters: Gracie Kate (3) and Avery Joy (1). We lost our first daughter, Darla Jane, in 2013. She was born at 30 weeks, with multiple abnormalities. Darla passed 12 hours after she was born. I started writing out of necessity. I used blogging to keep family and friends updated during my high-risk pregnancy with Darla. After she passed, I found myself connecting with women through writing. Writing evolved from a way to hide from painful conversations, to a coping mechanism, to something I truly love. Check out my blog at MyWesternNest.com.

‘We Have No Visible Finish Line’—The Case for Why Moms Are so Burnt Out

This is why moms are always so quick to snap. This is why we are so sensitive. Because we are desensitized. We are numb. We are so beyond burnt out.

14-Year-Old Boy In Foster Care Asks For “A Home and People That Love Me”

What Darrious hopes for most is a family, and a place to call home. He is currently in foster care and lives with other foster kids in a group home.

Jill Duggar to Dad Jim Bob: “You Treat Me Worse Than My Pedophile Brother”

A new, scathing memoir by daughter Jill Duggar Dillard released this week, and an excerpt published in People Magazine shows that it does not portray Jim Bob Duggar in a positive light at all.