Relationships

“You Deserve Better Than Your Husband” [And 7 Other Lies Satan Whispers About Marriage]

satan

I laid in bed with my 7-week old son and watched my husband sleep. My husband was very supportive of me, but my hormones were lying to me…I remember feeling so incredibly alone. Postpartum depression and pure exhaustion had taken its toll on me.

The thoughts running through my head were a little frightening to me. I don’t even remember any of them specifically… but I remember thinking that my brain was not my own. I didn’t feel close to my husband, or perhaps I felt that we weren’t in love anymore — that all of my foundations were crumbling under my feet.

I knew that I was in a delicate state emotionally and I knew that I was under attack. Satan sees Christians in their weak moments and pounces.

Is it any surprise that I even had doubts about God in these low times?

In my weakness, Satan was attacking me in all of my roles… as a Christian, as a wife, and as a mother. All through whispers.

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But my marriage felt the most attacked at the time.

Christian marriage is one of the most attacked institutions for good reason. There’s something about it that points to God.

A moment of honesty from this Christian blogger? I don’t fully understand this verse… but I know that God uses marriage for good, and Satan hates that.

“For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, but I am speaking about Christ and the church.” Ephesians 5:31-32

8 Lies Satan Whispers To You About Your Marriage - Christ-Centered Mama The Devil will exaggerate your mate's failures and inadequacies, sow suspicion and jealousy, indulge your self-pity, insist that you deserve something better, and hold out the hollow promise that things would be better with someone else. But hear Jesus's words and remember: God can change hearts and remove all hardness if we will allow Him. Mal 2:13, 14, 16. Ps 68:5, 6

I want to give credit where credit is due if I can. Some of the inspiration for this post came from this amazing Bible commentary snapshot someone put up on Pinterest. If someone knows the exact Study Bible this comes from, please let me know! “The Devil will exaggerate your mate’s failures and inadequacies, sow suspicion and jealousy, indulge your self-pity, insist that you deserve something better, and hold out the hollow promise that things would be better with someone else. But hear Jesus’s words and remember: God can change hearts and remove all hardness if we will allow Him.

So here we go! I’ve heard all of these lies from Satan himself, with slight changes and emphases when he thinks he’s being clever.

8 LIES SATAN WHISPERS TO YOU ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE

1. Your desires are more important than God’s Word

Hasn’t this been Satan’s number one lie since the Garden of Eden? He told Adam and Eve- did God really say? Don’t you want some of that forbidden fruit?! You must have misunderstood Him; He would never deny you something that you really want.”

I’m not sure what slant of this lie that Satan whispers to you the most often… maybe for you, it’s:

  • God wants you to be happy, so follow your heart
  • God wouldn’t want you to submit to your husband; that’s an antiquated lie
  • Now is a great time to give [in to] your sinful desires for (food, porn, alcohol, etc.) because you deserve it after the stressful day that you had.

2. You deserve better than your husband

If you’ve been married for longer than a year, I bet you’ve wondered if you would be happier with someone else. As if happiness the gauge of a good marriage. The hollow promises from Satan that you would be happier in a different marriage are one his most successful lines. We’ve all believed it at one point or another, especially in the age of social media, where everyone’s lives look shiny and they all get more likes on their Instagram than I do.

I wrestled with God on this lie.

Let me share what I had to learn — there are some exceptions in the case of abuse, but if you are experiencing problems in your marriage, it’s partially because of your own sin and these problems/sins would occur in a different parallel universe (haha!) marriage as well.

It’s only through sanctification through the Holy Spirit that you can get over these stumbling blocks. Not through different/easier circumstances.

3. You are alone. Your husband is against you — he is your enemy

Loneliness is one of the most effective tools in Satan’s arsenal. 

Satan knows that we are designed for communion and community… and knows when we are functioning (or surviving) outside of our design, we are most likely to entertain the whispers from ANYONE, including even him.

To get us to this place, he appeals to our pride. He plants seeds in our heart that the whole world is against us, that we have no true friends, and even our own husband is pitted against us.

When we succumb to the point of believing this lie, the marriage relationship is often most susceptible to emotional, mental, and sexual affairs.

4. Your sins are not as bad as your husband’s sins

Again appealing to our pride, the devil is a slanderer and wants you to feel that your sins within your marriage are NO BIG DEAL! That every wife does the same things as you. But your husband’s sins? Goodness, what a monster! (Yup, been there, believed that…! Pretty sure I bought the t-shirt too…)

Satan wants you to believe that your husband is beyond repair; that even God Himself is either unable or unwilling to change Your Husband’s heart towards his sin.

This particular lie is so far from the truth that you HAVE to realize it comes from the pits of Hell itself. God is in the redeeming business and adores His children. He would never abandon us, and when we come back into fellowship with Him, He throws a party! (See Jesus’ parable of the Prodigal Son, Luke 15:11–32

5. You are tired and deserve better treatment from your husband

Satan loves to attack us most when we are tired, sick, emotionally drained, spiritually low… Why? He’s a lion prowling around looking for someone to devour.

Satan can’t touch your spiritual standing with God, but he can attempt to harm your witness and make your life miserable.

6. Take this Bible verse and justify your behavior toward your husband

A lot of times women will look at the verses about how husbands should love their wives and ignore the verses about how wives should respect their husbands or submit to their own husbands. (Ephesians 5:22-23).

If your husband is using Bible verses against you like a club to the head, that’s not loving in the least. You also shouldn’t do the same to your husband. Don’t use the Word of God as a weapon to nag your husband with.

7. Your pain is big — too big for the outdated Bible

Satan will lie to you and tell you that the Bible doesn’t apply to you. Or if that isn’t a lie that he thinks you’ll believe, he might just barely twist God’s Word. Satan loves it when we misquote the Word and when we spread lies to each other about God’s truths.

8. Your children are more important than your marriage

When on autopilot, I think a lot of moms fall into this trap. Sometimes we can find that our kids are easier to relate to because they are so open. Ladies, believe it or not, Satan can and will use your kids to break you and your husband apart. Don’t let him do this! Satan wants a foothold in your children’s lives, and unfortunately, he knows that without a stable mom and dad relationship, this can be an easy route for him to take.

SATAN CAN REWORD AND REWORK ANY OF THESE LIES AT DIFFERENT TIMES; TRYING TO GET YOU TO BELIEVE THAT THEY AREN’T ACTUALLY COMING FROM HIM. BUT DON’T WORRY…

There’s hope!

NONE of these lies have permanent dominion over your life. With the power of God, you can overtake any single lie that Satan is trying to manipulate you into believing.

Satan may seem like a powerful being, and he is the prince of this world, but God is the Father of all, and God is so much more powerful. Satan is afraid of the Trinity! Even in the human temptation of Jesus Himself, Satan ultimately obeyed the Son of God.

Then Jesus said to him, “Be gone, Satan! For it is written,“ ‘You shall worship the Lord your God and Him only shall you serve.’ ” Then the devil left him, and behold, angels came and were ministering to Him.” Matthew 4:10-11

Take immense hope in the fact that if you have the Holy Spirit in you, and Satan or his demons can try to whisper lies into your ear, but he can never possess a Christian because you are a temple of the Holy Spirit. You are a princess of the Father in Heaven! Ultimately, we can hear two voices, but the Father will always win the battle.

“The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.”  Romans 16:20

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My name is Sarah. My husband is Benjamin and he’s a family pastor; I love to serve the Lord with him. I’m a midwestern stay-at-home mom, pianist, wanna-be photographer, and encourager of young women and Christians seeking to grow in their faith. You can read more from me at ChristCenteredMama.com, a Christian Womanhood blog dedicated to encouraging God’s Crown of Creation (women were the last act of Creation, you know) in their faith, marriages, and motherhood.

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