“I’m Not Sorry I Didn’t Listen”: Mom to Experts Who Warn Against Sleeping With Your Baby

Yet still.

You know what I don’t regret?

I don’t regret my baby sleeping on me while I rocked her in the rocking chair, cuddling her close and soaking in her smell, for hours at a time.

I don’t regret bringing her to peacefully sleep beside me, watching her tiny body rise up and down with each breath.

I don’t regret nursing her to sleep every single time and one last time.

I don’t regret giving her that bottle and holding her close while she fell asleep sucking. I don’t even regret still having to do that now at 22 months old because she would rather mommy hold her close than do it on her own.

You know what I miss?

I miss her falling asleep easily in my arms wherever we were. I miss her needing me to cuddle her to sleep.

It was all exhausting (and still is many days) but it was all so worth it. I see it now especially, as she slowly starts to need those cuddles less and less. I see it as I finally begin sleep training her simply because both her and I are finally ready to try. (Yes, at 21 months old.)

So yes, experts. I know you are right. You guys are dang good at your jobs. But I’m not really that sorry I didn’t listen. In my view, the lack of sleep was worth all the extra time I got to hold my little baby as close as could be.”