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How to Overcome Comparison: An Open Letter From a Recovering Perfectionist

So I think it’s something we ought to talk about because we live in a world so saturated with comparison and competition yet equally saturated with lots of internet whining and cheesy posts that are supposed to be inspirational but not enough LIVING.

And it leaves me wondering, “How did we get here? How has it become that one of the modern American girl’s main griefs has become comparison when people all over the world are hungry every day? How have we come to believe that someone is only REAL if they broadcast the ugly and broken parts of their life on their Instagram? Is there not more to life? Is there not more to the story?”

Perhaps there is more to the story. So much more.

This may not be the fluffiest, feel-good post in the world but I’m not interested in dancing around it any longer because it needs to be said.

So, from one recovering perfectionist (and also compulsive comparer) to another: My life is not a competition—neither the messy parts nor the marvelous parts are a measurement of my worth. It’s all part of my story and I don’t have anything to prove with either part of it. I’m not interested in one upping anyone or looking like anyone else or proving anything any longer. Instead, I choose to live and be and move and breathe.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m no robot. Like I said, I let myself fall into comparison, too. And I’m shamelessly honest about that. BUT I’m done passing on the blame or whining about it. Because that just makes it about myself and not about God. And I truly believe that we need to stop complaining so much and start marching on in doing what matters.

Because we are NOT victims of comparison. And we are not any more or less real because of what we may or may not share on the internet, achieve at work, or put on our resume.

Comparison may sneak up on us but we choose whether or not we give it power.

You have a choice in the matter, too, okay?

All too often, we lock up our hearts and drain them of all their joy all on our own simply because we choose to obsess over something that should be a non issue.

There’s a quote that says, “Mother Teresa didn’t walk around complaining about her thighs—she had work to do!”

The fact of the matter is that there is a way out. You literally have the key in your hand.

I’ll give you a hint: The key is NOT whining on social media or posting more inspirational quotes or more mega honest captions to convince yourself or others of something. I’ve tried that. It doesn’t work because when you’re still trying to prove something, that’s not freedom. The key is not whether or not you choose to wear makeup and it’s certainly not just blaming the enemy.

The key is choosing something better. Because there’s power in CHOOSING to live my life instead of choosing to look at everyone else’s. There’s power in choosing to declare what I know out loud instead of letting what I FEEL scream on the inside.

Maybe the answer isn’t convincing yourself or anyone else of anything but choosing to cheer people on instead. Nothing breaks comparison faster.

I don’t think any of us lose when we help each other win. I don’t lose beauty points when she looks better than me and I don’t lose any ounce of the worth bottled up inside of me when someone else wins what I hoped to have.

And neither do you.

Jordan Lee
Jordan Leehttp://thesoulscripts.com/
Jordan Lee is the creative voice behind the blog, The SoulScripts. She is passionate about seeing women set free by the love of Christ and works to bring them to that through sharing real, raw, and relatable stories and anecdotes with a creative spin. She launched her site in 2015 on a simple premise — to get real, to sort through the lies women believe, and to encourage readers in Truth while offering touches of comic relief along the way. She especially loves to keep it real by speaking openly into real-life struggles and offer encouragement through storytelling because she believes that our stories are the most unifying thing we have. The messy, broken, and imperfect parts of life are the threads that weave us together, reminding us that we are truly not alone. She understands the reality that we all have imperfections, brokenness, and pieces of our lives we’d rather not show. She recently published her first book, WholeheARTed: A Coloring Book Devotional, released this past spring. It is available for purchase via Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Lifeway, and more. When she isn’t writing, you can find her with a coffee in hand as she dives into the Word, jogging through town, and traveling the globe with her husband. You can get to know her more on Facebook, Twitter,or Instagram.

‘I Am 1 of 7 Kids in My Birth Family. I Was the ONLY Child Put Up for Adoption.’: Daughter’s Self-Love Journey Seals Her...

"I am 1 of 7 children. I am smack-dab in the middle of them. I was the only child placed for adoption. What is wrong with me?"

‘When You Get Home to Your Spouse, Put a Smile On. It Doesn’t Matter How Crummy Your Day Went’: Husband Reminds Us Our Family...

"For 30 seconds, really show you’re elated to see them. Make them feel like you were looking forward to getting back home. Your attitude sets the tone for the rest of the evening within 15 seconds of walking in the door."

32 Creative Proposal Ideas to Make Your Engagement Unforgettable

Discover 32 unique and creative proposal ideas to ensure your engagement moment is as special as your love story. From breathtaking adventures to intimate home proposals, find the perfect way to pop the question and start your journey together.