So I think it’s something we ought to talk about because we live in a world so saturated with comparison and competition yet equally saturated with lots of internet whining and cheesy posts that are supposed to be inspirational but not enough LIVING.
And it leaves me wondering, “How did we get here? How has it become that one of the modern American girl’s main griefs has become comparison when people all over the world are hungry every day? How have we come to believe that someone is only REAL if they broadcast the ugly and broken parts of their life on their Instagram? Is there not more to life? Is there not more to the story?”
Perhaps there is more to the story. So much more.
This may not be the fluffiest, feel-good post in the world but I’m not interested in dancing around it any longer because it needs to be said.
So, from one recovering perfectionist (and also compulsive comparer) to another: My life is not a competition—neither the messy parts nor the marvelous parts are a measurement of my worth. It’s all part of my story and I don’t have anything to prove with either part of it. I’m not interested in one upping anyone or looking like anyone else or proving anything any longer. Instead, I choose to live and be and move and breathe.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m no robot. Like I said, I let myself fall into comparison, too. And I’m shamelessly honest about that. BUT I’m done passing on the blame or whining about it. Because that just makes it about myself and not about God. And I truly believe that we need to stop complaining so much and start marching on in doing what matters.
Because we are NOT victims of comparison. And we are not any more or less real because of what we may or may not share on the internet, achieve at work, or put on our resume.
Comparison may sneak up on us but we choose whether or not we give it power.
You have a choice in the matter, too, okay?
All too often, we lock up our hearts and drain them of all their joy all on our own simply because we choose to obsess over something that should be a non issue.
There’s a quote that says, “Mother Teresa didn’t walk around complaining about her thighs—she had work to do!”
The fact of the matter is that there is a way out. You literally have the key in your hand.
I’ll give you a hint: The key is NOT whining on social media or posting more inspirational quotes or more mega honest captions to convince yourself or others of something. I’ve tried that. It doesn’t work because when you’re still trying to prove something, that’s not freedom. The key is not whether or not you choose to wear makeup and it’s certainly not just blaming the enemy.
The key is choosing something better. Because there’s power in CHOOSING to live my life instead of choosing to look at everyone else’s. There’s power in choosing to declare what I know out loud instead of letting what I FEEL scream on the inside.
Maybe the answer isn’t convincing yourself or anyone else of anything but choosing to cheer people on instead. Nothing breaks comparison faster.
I don’t think any of us lose when we help each other win. I don’t lose beauty points when she looks better than me and I don’t lose any ounce of the worth bottled up inside of me when someone else wins what I hoped to have.
And neither do you.