“I waited weeks to wash those clothes. My heart ached for dirty socks to once more be a part of my days.”
Debbie says the messes around the house are not things to lose sleep over, but rather things to celebrate. They’re reminders of God’s gifts to us.
“Like Jesus, we have the opportunity to demonstrate love by serving those we live with. And the last time I checked, not a single person is perfect. How many times had my husband kept quiet, listened and endured? He shared no list of ways that I needed refinement. He simply loved me.”
It’s devastating the lesson that Debbie learned too late. But in Christ, all things are made new. His gifts are new each morning, and Debbie was given the chance to love again. She married again, and has a different approach to the way she loves and respects her husband.
“I am still a butthole wife, but I am working on edifying the man who provides for my sons and me. I now strive to hug more and nag less. My goal is to make him feel respected, important, valued. I want to live love.”
It’s the powerful decision that has radically changed her life.
Debbie White Wilkins Baisden
Debbie no longer stumbles upon traces of laundry with anguish. But now with joy and understanding.
“Recently, I walked into the master bedroom and I stopped, nearly bursting into tears. I saw a pile of dirty clothes that my new husband had abandoned on the floor. As I stared at the pile, I smiled. I knew he had hurried to change out of work clothes into comfy clothes so he could spend time with his new family. He had chosen what is more important. I happily scooped the treasures into my arms and carried them to the washing machine.”
She says it was never about laundry in the first place, but getting to serve her husband—“a wonderful man who ditches laundry for people.”
Imagine how fruitful our marriages could be if we all start with a slice of her brutally honest advice, and stop being a butthole wife.
