"He stepped aside and tried to make a few calls. Hugging his daughter and grabbing his head, you could tell he was heartbroken. This woman next to him at the front counter heard the whole thing."
"You heard me tell her we had a long drive home and she needed to use the potty. You heard her tell me she was scared the toilet would flush while she was sitting on it."
"In this immediate defeat we’ve fallen for the tricks of Satan. Y’all, his playbook is always the same, and I’m not sure why we fall so easily for his game every time."
"You know, like the kind of sucker punch you see in the movies, the one that comes the moment the good guy has finally had enough of the bully. I want to be the Adam Sandler to a real-life Bob Barker, because when Adam delivered a blow to Bob Barker’s face in Happy Gilmore, it was one of the best moments of my life."
