Maybe we judge ourselves for not being able to shake this feeling and can’t bear even the thought that if we tell someone, they may react in [judgment] too and it would push us over the edge.
So, we all just stuff it down and walk through this journey alone, when we don’t have to! There is a whole community of Moms from every walk of life, going through this too. We just have to be honest and let each other in.
Let me tell you something — if you are struggling with depression, It is not your fault. It does not make you a bad Mom. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your children. It doesn’t make you less than the Mom next door, who seems to always have it more together than you.
It doesn’t make you weak, it makes you a warrior — because no matter how many battles are going on in your head on a daily basis, you wake up. You show up. Your kids know you love them. You try your best. You give yourself grace when you think your best wasn’t good enough.
You push through your pain, while still trying to give your family a great life.
Maybe you live with anxiety. You avoid super fun events that your family wants to go to because it will also be super crowded and send you into a panic attack. Perhaps you overreact to every scratch and rash, because naturally your first response when you see your child break out in a rash from allergies to a laundry detergent, is that your kid has measles!!
You feel everything 10 times more intensely than others. Your loved ones tell you to calm down, but you can’t. Of course, you would, if you could control it!
That’s the whole root of anxiety, isn’t it? The fear of everything we cannot control, the fear of the unknown or the worst case scenario. It can be so crippling to live in a mind and body, riddled with anxiety.
I promise you are not alone. I swear to you, that it is totally okay to be a little bit of a helicopter parent. Your kids will live to tell the tale and probably, with a few less scratches and bruises..so there’s that! They won’t remember that you didn’t take them to that concert, they’ll remember that you stayed at home playing board games and eating ice cream. They won’t hold it against you that you sent Dad to take them shopping instead of you taking them, to avoid the crowds. So long as you hand over the credit card before they go!
They will not remember your depression and anxiety as a deficiency or something that made you a bad parent. Because it isn’t and it doesn’t. It doesn’t make you love them less. It doesn’t change who you are. If you were a super Mom who everyone respected and came to for advice and trusted before, what changes by just saying the truth out loud?
Now your friends just know that you are human. You didn’t stop being strong. You didn’t stop being capable. You aren’t going to be an outcast. You are going to open a dialogue that needs to exist between us as mothers. You are going to get phone calls and e-mails and private messages from other Moms thanking you and wanting to share their story with you. You are going to break the stigma, one story at a time.