Why You Need to Stop Asking Couples When They’re Having Babies

Kyle and I have only been married a year, and have already been flooded with questions about when we’ll have kids. No babies yet? Are you pregnant yet? Why are you waiting? The first few times, it’s cute, but it quickly gets old. I see these questions get asked of other couples quite frequently, and the only results are awkward conversations and annoyed glances.

If you find yourself asking these questions, here are three reasons you should stop:

1. For some, it’s painful to answer

People don’t just simply “forget” to have kids. Us kid-less couples have reasons why we don’t have kids yet. For some of us, we just aren’t ready yet. But, sadly, for a lot of couples, there’s more to it than that. Health struggles. Issues to work through. One spouse who’s ready and one who isn’t. A couple that can’t afford healthcare. A couple that has tried everything and had no luck. A mom and dad that have loved and lost and no one knows it. And little do you know that every time you ask, it’s like salt in their already excruciatingly painful wounds.

You don’t know the story behind the “why.” Pressuring doesn’t help. You’d best keep your curiosity to yourself.

2. It’s extremely personal — and kind of inappropriate 

You’re basically asking a couple (who you might barely know) when they’re going to stop using birth control. And I don’t know about you, but that’s a subject I feel uncomfortable talking with my doctor about. You wouldn’t ask someone you barely know, “So, are you using birth control? If so, what kind? And when do you plan to stop?”