4. Get outside your comfort zone
One of the best things you can do to help yourself heal is to get outside of yourself and outside of your comfort zone. Like I said, heartbreak allows us to let our hearts be broken for what breaks God. We get a chance to identify with Christ in His suffering and pain is not purposeless (Philippians 3:10-11).
In the midst of it, we can choose to take big steps of faith instead of letting pain hold us back.
That thing you’ve always wanted to try? Try it!
That trip you’ve felt called to go on? Go.
That person you’ve been feeling God ask you to talk to? Talk to them.
That job you’ve wanted to apply for? Apply for it!
That project you’ve been putting off? Do it.
The point is to get outside of your comfort zone and your bubble. Try new things, even simple little things like a DIY project you never thought you were artsy enough to do.
Sometimes our hearts have to be broken open so that our walls can be busted down. Unfortunately, we so quickly revert to building up walls higher…no wonder heartbreak feels so empty and lifeless.
If your heart is broken, don’t go into an emotional turtle shell. That’s only going to cause the pain to build and build until you swell and eventually pop.
Get out of the box instead.
5. Open up and write it out
You can’t heal if you don’t open up about your pain. Bottling it up just won’t work and you’re going to feel trapped.
However, you have to know where the line is between seeking counsel and complaining. While it’s healthy and good to be vulnerable and share your brokenness with others that you trust, you also have to remember not to dump it all on one person or complain all the time. Understand that vulnerability is necessary and not a sign of weakness but be careful not to turn that into whining.
Seek wisdom, prayer, and support from trusted friends. Cry out to the Lord when you just can’t handle it anymore. He tells us so clearly in His word that He is near to the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 34:18).
Invite Him into that instead of stiff-arming Him. Your broken heart is likely His way of drawing you closer to His heart. Don’t fight it.
When you’re not sure who to open up to or feel like you’ve asked enough of your friends, journal. Write out the ugliest of your feelings, and write down the ways you’ve seen God move and the ways you hope to see healing. Your journal can handle all the tears and aggressively written feelings scratched across its pages. And as you journal your pain, progress, and prayers, you’ll be able to look back and see the parts of the story that have been redeemed, healed, or helped by the Lord.
Sometimes we forget how far we’ve come and how faithful the Lord has been when the pain seems unbearable.
Keeping a journal is a tangible tool that can help you track your progress and keep on pressing into faith and healing when you have a bad day.
6. Choose what you KNOW over what you FEEL
Memorizing what Truth says in Scripture can be one of the best ways to combat the enemy’s sneaky ways and how he twists heartbreak to become so divisive and personal.
We often let our feelings dictate our days instead of relying on what we know to be true.
When you begin to say, “I feel lonely…” or, “I feel depressed,” remember that feelings are fleeting but the truth is unchanging. Identify when you begin to feel the weight of a lie that says something like, “You’re unlovable,” or “You’re going to die alone,” and replace it with what you KNOW.
When you diligently work to memorize what TRUTH says, you’ll be armored up to stand against the lies that heartbreak can sometimes let seep in. Heartbreak can be a vulnerable place to be and while it’s good to be vulnerable with the Lord, you have to put on the armor of God or you’re also going to be open to attacks from the enemy. The enemy tries to play on our weakness but God can display His power through it (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
Don’t just mope around expecting time to heal your heart. Time doesn’t heal your heart, Jesus does.
In the midst of this season of healing and finding purpose in the pain, don’t overlook the importance of standing on the Rock of Truth when you feel like you’ve been shaken to the core.
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.” ~ Ephesians 6:10-20.
Lastly, do you notice how all of these ways toward healing are focused on continuing to shine a light and live in the light in spite of brokenness? Shining a light and loving the world and living so big and full of life that light breaks through those cracks in your heart?
So, maybe you ought not to waste another day worrying or waiting or moping around because there’s so much life waiting for you if you step outside your front door and live it. There’s so much wonder and glory and purpose and work to do beyond your broken heart.
You CAN do it. You can do that work and your heart has a need to live a purposeful life.
If you don’t remember anything else, remember this: broken hearts are kind of like lamps. And a broken lamp can still shine and if you go after life with reckless abandon, if you let Life Himself fill you up so full of light and purpose and joy, if you understand that even when your heart breaks your Light doesn’t have to, well then, darling, you can keep on shining too.
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