Parenting

"I froze. As she went from pink, to red, to blue, I screamed at the top of my lungs for someone to help...My baby was going to die, that's all I could think about."

“Sex after kids is the best sex,” said no one, ever. That’s not to say kids themselves have any control over their parents’ sex lives, but I think we can all agree that it’s pretty easy for libido to morph into libi-DON’T once the pitter patter of little feet begins to fill the halls of our homes.

"Imagine a life uncorrupted by screens. And imagine a vigorous family life where crazy adventurous boredom ruled the halls instead of a glowing rectangle. It’s not only time to limit our kids use of screens. It’s also time to kill parenting from the couch, get crazy, and help ignite the imaginations that will shape the future."

"Parenting is a beautiful storm. Few endeavors are more life-giving and joy-filled. But it’s far from easy. Some days all you can do is hold on."

Those "instructions" turned "recommendations" quickly backfired--in the most HILARIOUS way possible.

"At 2:00am when pitiful desperate squeals come through a baby monitor, I will come to her."

"A lady came over to her and said her kid was crying, and looked at that mother on her phone in disgust, as neglectful and uninterested..."

"This worry-turned-fact is something that kept me awake when I was pregnant with my second son, stealing the peace of the night..."