On National Suicide Prevention Day, Kayla Stoecklein, the widow of pastor Andrew Stoecklein, took to her blog God’s Got This to dispel a few myths surrounding the stigma of suicide.
After her husband Andrew, the lead pastor of Inland Hills Church in Chino, California took his own life late last month, Kayla has admittedly had her own spiritual struggles in dealing with the concept of suicide.
Since Christians often particularly have a skewed perception about the taboo topic, the grieving widow decided to write a post entitled “3 Myths about suicide you may have picked up along the way” to tackle the subject head-on.
“I am by no means an expert on mental illness or suicide. I am speaking purely from a raw place of brokenness and pain,” Kayla admits in opening her heartfelt piece. “The reason I am addressing these myths today is I believe as a follower of Christ, the Church and Christians can do a better job at understanding suicide. All too often it’s ‘Christians’ who say the wrong things and hurt people the most. Let’s break the stigma so that we can truly love and meet people where they are.”
Myth #1 that Kayla addresses is “It’s the ultimate sin therefore when you die by suicide you do not go to heaven.”
She admits that prior to Andrew’s death, she may also have been one who fell prey to this lie.
“I remember leaning over to my mother-in-law, Carol, in the hospital room as my husband lay there dying, whispering through my tears, ‘Will he go to heaven?’ ”, she writes.
Her mother-in-law quickly reassured her that he would, and Kayla now knows without question that it is a personal relationship with Jesus that dictates whether you make it to heaven:
“I am confident now: whether you are accepted into heaven or not has nothing to do with how you die. The only way we are accepted into heaven is through a personal relationship with Jesus. I believe with 100% of my soul that Andrew is in heaven. Andrew had a real, raw, authentic, and infectious relationship with Jesus. Thousands of people will be in heaven because of him.”
Much like any other medical diagnosis, whether it be cancer or heart disease, Andrew, too, was given a diagnosis that can be equally deadly.
“His illness grew worse over time. This illness caused him to [lose] his ability to make wise decisions, to think clearly, and to properly articulate his feelings. If Andrew were sitting here today, healthy and strong, I am confident he would want a redo. He did not want to die. I can rest assured that he is no longer in pain, he is completely healed in heaven; a place more beautiful and wonderful than any human mind could ever comprehend.”
Myth #2 that Kayla brings to the spotlight is “The person who committed suicide must be a horrible human being.”
When something terrible like this happens seemingly by one’s own will, many questions go racing through people’s mind:
“How could he do this to his family?”