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The Simple Marriage Prayer That Will Put Your Focus On God

"When we pray these words, we are acknowledging that He is in control of us, and we are not in control of each other. It is offering our own will in exchange for God’s will."

Dear ‘Good Parents’: This Is How You Miss the Signs of Sexual Abuse in Your Child

How do good parents miss child sexual abuse? It is simple.

Twins Found Floating Face Down in Backyard Pool. 6-Yr-Old Who Can’t Swim Dives in After Them in Bold Rescue.

“They were completely gone, there was no life left in them. They were blue. They were limp. There was no heartbeat. There was nothing."

My Wife Left Me Because I Sometimes Leave Dishes by the Sink— And I Don’t Blame Her

You see, he had several legitimate reasons at the time to not wash his dish, as he plainly lists:

  1. I may want to use it again.
  2. I don’t care if a glass is sitting by the sink unless guests are coming over.
  3. I will never care about a glass sitting by the sink. Ever. It’s impossible. It’s like asking me to make myself interested in crocheting, or to enjoy yardwork. I don’t want to crochet things. And it’s hard for me to imagine a scenario in which doing a bunch of work in my yard sounds more appealing than ANY of several thousand less-sucky things which could be done.

But it was only after the divorce was final, that the one reason he should have washed that dish became clear:

“There is only ONE reason I will ever stop leaving that glass by the sink. A lesson I learned much too late: Because I love and respect my partner, and it REALLY matters to her. I understand that when I leave that glass there, it hurts her— literally causes her pain—because it feels to her like I just said: ‘Hey. I don’t respect you or value your thoughts and opinions. Not taking four seconds to put my glass in the dishwasher is more important to me than you are.'”

Wow, now this is a man who gets it. Matt realized that he didn’t need to get WHY she cares about the petty things he doesn’t give a crap about, he just needed to get that she DOES. Period. Because caring about her looks like putting that dirty cup in the dishwasher.

He continued:

“Caring about her = keeping your laundry off the floor.

Caring about her = thoughtfully not tracking dirt or whatever on the floor she worked hard to clean.

Caring about her = taking care of kid-related things so she can just chill out for a little bit and not worry about anything.

Caring about her = “Hey babe. Is there anything I can do today or pick up on my way home that will make your day better?”

Caring about her = a million little things that say “I love you” more than speaking the words ever can.

Yes, it’s that simple.

“Most guys don’t know that she’s NOT fighting about the glass,” says Matt. “She’s fighting for acknowledgment, respect, validation, and his love.”

And isn’t that what we’re all fighting for? Matt makes a strong case for the husband honey-do list in support of their hardworking wives, but the door swings both ways, ladies.

We may not get that our husband needs direct (straight-to-the-point) communication or constant physical attention… or why he likes to watch football every Sunday…or play that one stupid video game that drives us nuts. But we just need to get that he DOES.

Though it seems some lessons are learned too late in a relationship, it’s never too late to start now.

If we both learn to value what our partner values just because they do, we start to enter the kind of Christ-like love that keeps every relationship thriving. If we can remove ourselves from the “things,” like the dirty dishes or the video games, we start to see the person. And loving them looks like loving what they love.

As wisely stated by Matt, “When you choose to love someone, it becomes your pleasure to do things that enhance their lives and bring you closer together, rather than a chore.”

Thanks Matt, for teaching us all a life lesson that can help get us through those ‘dirty dish’ moments with a smile on our faces.

For more from this author, visit www.mustbethistalltoride.com.

Kelsey Straeter
Kelsey Straeter
Kelsey is an editor at Outreach. She’s passionate about fear fighting, freedom writing, and the pursuit of excellence in the name of crucifying perfectionism. Glitter is her favorite color, 2nd only to pink, and 3rd only to pink glitter.

The Simple Marriage Prayer That Will Put Your Focus On God

"When we pray these words, we are acknowledging that He is in control of us, and we are not in control of each other. It is offering our own will in exchange for God’s will."

Dear ‘Good Parents’: This Is How You Miss the Signs of Sexual Abuse in Your Child

How do good parents miss child sexual abuse? It is simple.

Twins Found Floating Face Down in Backyard Pool. 6-Yr-Old Who Can’t Swim Dives in After Them in Bold Rescue.

“They were completely gone, there was no life left in them. They were blue. They were limp. There was no heartbeat. There was nothing."