Here are some things I’ve learned about love:
It is not something that “happens” to you. It is not something you “fall into.” It does not occur at, “first sight.”
This my friends, is called infatuation. And infatuation doesn’t stick around. As soon as the rubber meets the road, infatuation high tails it, and leaves you to make the decision to stick it out long enough to find what I affectionately call, steadfast (true) love.
Love isn’t found, it’s built.
The change we so badly wish to see in each other takes time. Years, even. Our Pastor once said, while talking about change, “You never witness a tree growing.” One day you just notice it’s taller, stronger. Bearing fruit, providing shade. It’s so true. If I were to sit by a sapling and wait for an apple to appear, I would soon grow impatient and walk away. No, I have to be patient, water, prune, and allow God to provide the nutrients needed. I need to trust there will one day be fruit.
Butterflies aren’t a sign of love.
Stop chasing the butterflies. Put your head down and your feet forward and fail at loving well with the one next to you. Forgive, and keep walking.
The only way I can connect a butterfly to love, is to compare it to the crazy amazing change that the creature goes through. It starts as a somewhat creepy little worm, and after the metamorphosis takes place — the mystery of the cocoon, the darkness, the CHANGE — out breaks this beautiful thing that barely resembles what it once was. It no longer crawls precariously on a branch…it flies.
