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I Put My Husband First, and I’m A Better Mom Because of It

It’s so darn easy to put my kids first. But in order to be a better mom, I know I needed to change that.

As a mom, it feels like my life revolves around these little people and their big needs. And it probably feels that way because, realistically, it does. They are, without a doubt, the main focus of my attention.

Because they demand it, really. They need me — my time, my energy, my help, my guidance, my presence, my mad making-three-different-meals-they-refuse-to-eat skills — far more than anyone else has ever needed me.

But, I’ll be completely honest: I believe, in the depths of my heart, that it’s a mistake to put them first.

Whoa. I know, I know. Just hear me out, though.

Because before I’d even thought seriously about “starting a family,” beyond those idyllic teenage dreams of what my very own fairy tale of a life might look like one day, I started a family. And I’m not quite sure why we don’t see it that way.

When we talk about “starting a family,” we’re always referring to welcoming little ones, to the crazy, beautiful, messy journey of parenthood.

But on that picturesque August afternoon, with brilliant sunbeams dancing across the lake and the majestic mountains encircling us in their embrace, our family began.

We read our vows.

We cut the cake.

He danced with his mom and I with my dad.

And we became a family. Just the two of us.

That’s how it all began — where this whole thing started — with the two of us.

I lose sight of that, though, quite often. Too often.

Because my husband plain and simply doesn’t need me as much as my kids do. So I give and give and give of myself, day in and day out, for my children thinking that it will make me a better mom.

It’s natural, really, to give them my all and him only what’s left over.

Krista Ward
Krista Ward
Krista is a former first-grade teacher turned stay-at-home mom to her insanely precious little boys, Hudson and Jones. She is married to her best friend and high school sweetheart, Randy, who is the peanut butter to her chocolate. Krista hopes to be a light and joy to the world, especially other mamas feeling stuck in the daily grind, through her writing. Connect with Krista on Instagram or Facebook.

Hundreds Gather to Remember 10-Year-Old Who Took His Own Life After Being Relentlessly Bullied

Sammy Teuch, an Indiana fourth-grader, took his own life earlier this month after enduring what his family has called relentless bullying at the hands of several students. 

Duke University Students Walk Out During Jerry Seinfeld’s Commencement Speech in Protest of War in Israel

A significant number of Duke University students walked out during Jerry Seinfeld’s commencement speech, protesting against the ongoing war in Israel.

A Pearson Family Reunion: Milo Ventimiglia Joins His “This Is Us” Kids to Celebrate Niles Fitch’s Graduation

The heartwarming "This is Us" reunion was reminiscent of a Pearson family gathering, with Milo Ventimiglia standing alongside the 22-year-old graduate in a display of support and camaraderie.