I am an assistant principal in a middle school (grades 6-8). When I have to search a student's cell phone, I often get sick to my stomach at what I find. It gets worse and worse every year.
Years ago, a newly divorced Gerald Rogers took to Facebook to reflect on what he wishes he would have known before it was too late. He admits there were a lot of things he could have done differently to save his marriage, and he openly shared the self-effacing letter in the most humble and real way.
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"You know that filter between your brain and your mouth that keeps you from saying things that you shouldn’t? Ya, I don’t have that. And that saying, 'Put it on the back burner?' Well, evidently I only have front burners."
"Everything is demanding his time and attention and he feels torn in so many directions. With all of the extra distractions and frustrations in life, it is easy for him to forget how much you love him. I know you have good things for him."
The flowers die. The chocolate and meals get devoured. And the surprise getaways happen, and then they’re over. But it’s in the moments that you can depend on (over and over and over again), well, that’s where the love is found.
"I asked my husband to pull the car over. 'I’m sick to my stomach,' I said as he held my hand, guiding me to the nearest bathroom. All came out—my dreams for a happy marriage and a promising future all spilled out."
"I was currently on my fourth, 12-hour shift in a row, and he knew this full well. But factor in more like thirteen at the critical care patient bedside, and it felt like a 72-hour shift. Point being, yeah, I was tired."
Twenty-somethings don’t think about 15 years down the line. Babies, stress, snoring, weight gain, a mid-life crisis, money struggles, and literally having not one second to think, sit, or relax. I have to laugh at what a good husband is to me now, after three kids, a mortgage, and nonstop chaos. You wouldn’t find any of these ‘traits’ on a dating profile. But they will matter eventually. Trust me.
She can tell that even though you are present, you aren’t really with her. God gave women the incredible gift of emotional intelligence, and they have this gut instinct that is sometimes freakishly accurate.
