Spiritual

God Broke Us Up and Brought Us Back Together

husband

Looking back now, I see that God broke us up and brought us back together.

The day was absolutely perfect. The sun was shining, music blasted in every direction, and [the] campus was full of energy in anticipation of the big game.

I had every reason to be happy but at some point throughout the day, between tailgate tents and backyard barbecue, something inside of me broke. By mid-afternoon, I found myself wishing I had someone special to share such a sweet memory with. The day itself, in all its beauty, made me miss that feeling of companionship I had just months earlier and it left me wondering if I should try to get back together with him.

Frustrated, I left the game before halftime. Once at home, I scrubbed the makeup off my face, changed into some gym shorts, and went to the campus recreational center. As I pedaled away at the stationary bike, I realized how accurate my pedaling illustrated the state of my heart.

I felt like I had been working so hard to move on but wasn’t getting anywhere…I wasn’t moving. I fought back tears and picked up my phone to dial my mom. Surely, she would know what to do.

I’m sure you’re familiar with that feeling — the sting that comes on at the most unexpected times and the pain of loneliness that seems to strike without warning after someone walks out of your life (even when you’re surrounded by friends).

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Maybe he recently texted you out of the blue right when you were ALMOST over him — just to remind you he exists (that’s the worst, I know). Or maybe you felt like you didn’t get closure, the silence has been deafening, and you can hardly take it anymore. Perhaps he toyed with your heart but says he’s changed or has begged for you to take him back. And maybe you feel like I did that day on that stationary bike so many years ago — confused, frustrated, lonely, and wondering…

Should I get back together with him?

I don’t know the specifics of your situation. I can’t tell you exactly what to do but I can pass on the advice my mama reminded me of over the phone that day.

She said, “I know it’s hard to move on but like I’ve always told you, don’t let your emotions make you walk back into the life of a man who walked out of yours.”

Ironically, in that very moment, I heard a loud noise and looked up from my bicycle to see what had happened. Every television in the gym was broadcasting the game and the Hoosiers had just made a big play. None other than player #91 walked across the screen and blocked the camera for a few seconds right as I looked up. I couldn’t see him under the helmet but little did I know he would be the one to walk into my life later that year. He would be the one I’d walk down the aisle to a few years after that. Not so ironic, huh?

Maybe mom was onto something.

I think, sometimes, we give the pain of loneliness and the fear of rejection power over our decisions far too quickly. When someone we care about hurts us or leaves us, there’s a hole in our heart for a little while. When it comes to breakups, it’s so tempting to allow that very person back into our heart in an effort to fill up that hole because we believe the lie that nothing else or no one else could ever fit that space.

But that space is broken. It isn’t something that needs to be filled or patched. It’s something that needs to be healed and mended.

Again, every situation, break up, and relationship is different and I’m not saying Mr. Perfect is going to sweep you off your feet tomorrow if you hold on a little bit longer. That’s not the point.

Jordan Lee
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Jordan Lee is the creative voice behind the blog, The SoulScripts. She is passionate about seeing women set free by the love of Christ and works to bring them to that through sharing real, raw, and relatable stories and anecdotes with a creative spin. She launched her site in 2015 on a simple premise — to get real, to sort through the lies women believe, and to encourage readers in Truth while offering touches of comic relief along the way. She especially loves to keep it real by speaking openly into real-life struggles and offer encouragement through storytelling because she believes that our stories are the most unifying thing we have. The messy, broken, and imperfect parts of life are the threads that weave us together, reminding us that we are truly not alone. She understands the reality that we all have imperfections, brokenness, and pieces of our lives we’d rather not show. She recently published her first book, WholeheARTed: A Coloring Book Devotional, released this past spring. It is available for purchase via Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Lifeway, and more. When she isn’t writing, you can find her with a coffee in hand as she dives into the Word, jogging through town, and traveling the globe with her husband. You can get to know her more on Facebook, Twitter,or Instagram.

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